Week Thirty-Three: Laughter, the Best Medicine

A while ago, I was working away at my laptop, when my teenage son's belly laugh floated down the stairs from his room where he was watching one of his favorite television shows, Family Guy. Immediately, I flashed back to my childhood and heard my brother's own childish belly laugh echoing in my memories, from the weekend mornings when I would try to sleep in and he would be watching Saturday morning cartoons in the living room directly below my bedroom. I thought about how my son's chuckle imitates both my brother's and my sister's, and how my daughter has a very unique outright laugh (it almost sounds fake!), although at times I hear her paternal cousin's giggle or her paternal aunt's chuckle when she is amused. My sister-in-law and my mother-in-law share the same "ha-ha!" and my husband, brother-in-law and father-in-law sound alike as well.

Now that nearly all my grandparents are gone, I can tell you that one of the sounds I miss most is my maternal grandmother's merry laugh, and my paternal grandfather's knee-slapping that accompanied his guffaws after telling a good joke. I can't remember my maternal grandfather's laugh or even a memory of him laughing out loud...maybe because he was a quiet man. I know that my dad and his mother have similar laughs, and I wonder that if I could be transported in time, which ancestors they would sound like.

Ancestral photographs and documents may tell us who someone looks like in the family, or what similar habits or occupations were passed from generation. But sound--people's voices and the way they laughed--are not things that often get recorded for future generations. Yet, they could tell us so much about ourselves and our families!

*When you laugh, who do you sound like? Your father, mother, a sibling, or other relative?

*Who in your family giggles? Belly laughs? Chuckles? Guffaws? Knee slaps or does some other large physical act while laughing?

*What other members of the family have similar laughs? Query the older generations and ask them "who in the family has your grandma's (or grandpa's) laugh?"

*Who has the most unique laugh in your family, and why?

*What kinds of things did your family laugh or joke about?

*What best describes the style of humor in your family (dry, wet, ironic, silly)?

*Did you ever have tickle fights?

*Who were the practical jokers in the family?

*What private jokes did you have as a family? What key phrases were giggle starters?

*What do you remember about your own children's first laughs when they were babies? What silly things did you do to get them to chortle?

*What books, magazine, or cartoon strips were favorite humorous reads in your family?

*What comedy television shows or movies were favorites in your family?

*Do you ever play games that get your family giggling up a storm? (Our family plays Balderdash with my brother-in-law's family every year while camping at the lake for a week...it's our favorite group activity, mainly because we get so darn silly while playing it!)

*Do you have digital recordings, videotapes, audio tapes, or home movies with family members talking or laughing in them? I'm a fan of Susan Kitchen's blog, Family Oral History Using Digital Tools, and she has lots of good tips for preserving these recordings. Perhaps you should plan to do some recording at the next family gathering!

*Besides preserving audio recordings (and perhaps posting them on your blog!), you can post photos of family members cutting capers, laughing, or joking around. If you don't have a blog, you can add these photos to a scrapbook and post your responses to this prompt. You could also add quotes about laughter from the Bible or other sources to your journal, scrapbook, or blog.

And now, it's time to do a little giggling yourself! Watch the YouTube video below! For more great baby laughing videos, go to YouTube and enter "baby laughing" in the search engine.

Week Twenty-Nine: Family Time

Last week there were some great responses to "Games and Puzzles." You could really see the family dynamics as various bloggers wrote about the game times they had with their families. I wanted to continue in the same vein with "Family Time." These times can be referring to your household family, or extended family members.

*Did your family have a regularly scheduled family time?

*What sorts of things did your family do together most often?

*Where did you spend your family times? At home or elsewhere?

*How important were family meal times?

*Did you ever go for "Sunday drives"? Where did you go?

*Did your family have a favorite place at which to eat out together? What made it a favorite?

*Was there a favorite television show you liked to watch together (or a radio show to listen to together)? Did you ever read together?

*What kinds of things did your family talk about when they got together?

*Were there certain kinds of sports or activities that you participated in as a family?

*Did you ever have a family portrait done by a professional photographer? Was this done on a regular basis, or just occasionally?

Understandably, if you grew up in a household where the family dynamics were not the best, the above questions may not apply. Some people may find it therapeutic to write honestly about this, while others may find it helpful to write about how they determined to have things be different when they raised their own families.

One of my great-great-grandmothers, Jana "Jennie" (TON) HOEKSTRA, was orphaned at an early age. She lived with her step-father, but once he remarried after her mother's death, she went to live with an uncle and aunt, and worked as a maid and a laundress at a young, young age. She had a very hard life. One of the most precious possessions I own is a little scrap of paper on which she wrote about some early memories she had of her immigrant Dutch parents:

I, remember when my mother was kind to me, and took the long walk, with her, Sundays after-noon and her Love.

I, remember the walk, my Father and I took one evening in Cincinnati Ohio. The Father's day, and mother's days are a blessing.

Sunday Feb 14--1943

This is all I have ever seen in Jennie's writing, and it is so significant that the one thing that has been saved of all she ever wrote was about her family! Make sure your descendants have a record of your family times, and copies of your family portraits or snapshots.

Week Twenty-Eight: Games and Puzzles

With all the snow we're having here in Spokane this winter, nothing sounds like more fun than gathering the family around the table to play a few games on a winter evening. Here in the Midkiff house, we have three shelves full of board and card games, a collection my husband started building not long after we were married. He wanted to have a variety for our future family to choose from for family nights. We don't play as often as we used to, so maybe it's time we started that back up. A Midkiff family tradition we've started and continue every summer is to play Balderdash nearly every evening of our week up at the lake with my brother-in-law's family. My brother-in-law usually comes up with the funniest definitions, but I usually end up winning! We always get silly and adults and kids alike thoroughly enjoy this tradition!

When I was in college, our high school and college youth group enjoyed playing Spoons, Charades, and especially Pictionary, long before the latter became a board game. It was supposedly created by Gonzaga University students here in Spokane.

*Did you have a regular game night or family night?

*What games (board, card, dice, or acting out) did your family enjoy? Was there a favorite you played time after time?

*Did your family have a family or game room? What was it like? What kind of game equipment did it have (foosball, pool table, etc.)?

*Do you have any funny stories or a particular memory (good or bad) that stands out of game-playing time?

*What's the first game you remember playing?

*Were there any games you disliked? Why?

*Were there any games that were not allowed to be played? Why?

*Did your parents have a regular night when they would play games or cards with friends or extended family?

*Did you ever have game nights with groups, clubs, or neighbors on a regular basis?

*Was game playing associated with certain annual events, like holidays, birthdays, or vacation times?

*What kinds of snacks and beverages were enjoyed during game playing?

*Were there prizes awarded to game winners or even to losers? What kinds? Did everyone chip in towards purchasing the prizes?

*Did your family or you ever do jigsaw puzzles? What's the largest--in terms of number of puzzle pieces--jigsaw puzzle you've completed?

*What did you do with completed puzzles? Did you display them or simply put them away?

*What about puzzles such as crosswords, cryptograms, or others found in puzzle books? Are you a Sudoku fiend?

*Did you ever go to an arcade and play pinball machines or other arcade-style games? Or did you ever shoot pool?

*Do you remember seeing your first video game, either in an arcade or on a television (Pong, Atari or early Nintendo games)?

*What kinds of video games did you like to play, if any? Do you play any now (gaming station or handheld)?

*What was your first computer game? Do you ever play computer games now, either on your computer or online?

*What about the present? Does your family or do you personally play games or do puzzles? Do you participate in game nights with others, such as poker or Bunco?

*Here are some other game ideas to write about: lawn games (horseshoes, croquet, badminton); kid games (marbles, jacks); betting, casino games, and bingo; party games (pinata, pin the tail on the donkey), etc.

*What do you know about your parents', grandparents', or perhaps even great-grandparents' game playing? Do you remember them saying anything about games they played when they were young?

*Do you have any photos of either your present or your childhood families playing games? What about ancestral photos?

I'll have more prompts about other family times in next week's post.

Week Twenty-Two: Your Recipes

Do you have a favorite recipe that you are famous for? Is there a favorite recipe that's been handed down through the generations? This week, take some time to write about a recipe (or several) that has significance in your household or family. Here are some things to consider:

*If there is a history to this recipe, write about it. Did it come from the Old Country, or was it printed in a favorite cookbook or local newspaper?

*Is there a funny (or sad) story that relates to this recipe, either in preparing it or eating it?

*What sort of memories does preparing or eating this particular food bring out? Are there particular cooking utensils, mixing bowls, serving dishes, aprons, hot pads, furniture (kitchen table), appliances (old cooking stoves, porcelain sinks) that come to mind when you remember this recipe?

*Do you have any photos of your family eating this, or someone preparing it? Do any particular conversations come to mind?

*How has the recipe changed over the years? What sorts of alternate ingredients or preparations have been made? Why?

*Does anyone still make this recipe? Why or why not?

These questions can pertain to a whole group of family recipes or just one in particular. Here are some recent blog posts that inspired this post:

• When Is Raspberry Jam NOT Just Raspberry Jam? by Pat Richley of DearMYRTLE, Your Friend in Genealogy (she also wrote the next two titles)
• Raspberry Jam II
• Raspberry Jam III
• Carnival of Genealogy, 16th Edition: Food and Family Recipes - many family recipes and memories shared here by various bloggers, including myself

Besides what I wrote for the Carnival of Genealogy, I have posted a couple of recipes, for my famous spaghetti and Peach Dessert, at my personal blog, &Etc.

Consider creating a family cookbook with favorite recipes and ancestral or family photographs. They make great Christmas gifts or fundraisers at family reunions. Many can be self published for a low cost using your own printer, or a printing business such as Kinko's, Office Depot, Staples, Costco, etc.

Week Twenty-One: Your National Holiday

This week marks national holidays for two major countries: Canada, which celebrates Canada Day normally on July 1st, but officially on the 2nd, since the First falls on a Sunday; and the United States, which celebrates Independence Day on July 4th. Here are some prompts for letting your descendants know how you celebrate your national holiday:

*What was tradition in your childhood family for celebrating your national holiday? Did you dress in a national costume or in your national colors? Did you display your national flag? Was your national holiday a one-day celebration, or longer?

*Were there any programs on the radio or television that you listened to/watched as part of this observance? Was there a church or other religious ceremony you attended?

*Were there neighborhood or community events in which you participated? Did they include games, dancing, feasting, fireworks, or music? Was the national anthem sung or played? Was it a festive or somber affair? Were there celebrities, local government officials, or national leaders in attendance?

*Did you have an indoor feast, or a picnic or barbecue outside? What foods were traditionally served?

*How did your childhood celebrations differ from the way you celebrate as an adult? How are they the same?

*What does it mean to you to be a/an ____________ (insert your nationality here)? Do you consider yourself patriotic? What freedoms or privileges do you most cherish? If you are an immigrant, you may wish to write about your immigration experience (when, where and why), how life in your new country compares with your old, and your feelings about your motherland and adopted country.

Here are some great websites to educate you further, or to use to enhance your online journal:

• Fourth of July Celebrations Database
• Celebrate Canada!
• A list of National Holidays
  
• To find more online information about your specific national holiday, enter the name of your country and "national holiday" in quotation marks at Google.
• 3D Flags has animated national flags you can download and use on your website or blog. They have three sizes and three background colors to choose from. They also have U.S. state flags.
• If your national colors are red and white, or red, white, and blue, there are some backgrounds and graphics on my pixel graphics site here, which you can use free-of-charge.
• Sites to download free midi (audio) files of your national anthem can be found here and here, while lyrics can be found here.

My journal about my childhood celebrations can be found here.

Week Sixteen: Your Children

Your Child or Your Children is the topic of this week's prompts. Is there anything more amazing than becoming a parent? The responsibilities, the joys, the trials...probably few things create more significance--for better or worse--in our lives than that of the parent-child relationship, whether it is the one with our own parents or the one with our children.

If you are not a parent, you may wish to choose a person in your life that you may look upon as a surrogate child, whether a step-child, niece, nephew, cousin, or family friend. You may also wish to share about the choice--or lack of choice--involved in not having children and how that affects your life.

*How many children did you want to have? How many do you have?

*Did you have gender preferences (one boy and one girl, or all girls, etc.), and if so, why? What did you get?

*What are the names of your children? Who were they named for and why?

*When and where were each of them born?

*Did you adopt? Write about your adoption experience: how long you had to wait, which country you adopted from, open or closed adoption, etc.

*If you had biological children, was it difficult to conceive? If so, write about that experience.

*Share any stories you remember from the pregnancies of each child.

*Share the story of each child's birth.

*Write about anything significant that you remember from the different stages each child has gone through, such as infancy, toddlerhood, the first day of Kindergarten, elementary, middle or high school, college, marriage, being a parent themselves.

*Describe each child's personality, interests, and talents.

*Describe each child's features and build.

*Describe the relationship of each of your children to each other and to your spouse.

*Write down the wish you have for each child's future.

Add favorite photos of each of your children to your journal.

Our topic next week will be Your Pets.

Week Fourteen: Your Wedding

This is the second part of a topic that began last week with "The Significant Other in Your Life." Not everyone who is following these journal prompts is married, and this is not meant to exclude anyone. So if it doesn't pertain to you, just skip this prompt!

*When were you married? Why did you pick that date?

*Where were you married? Be specific, and include the building (house of worship, courthouse, wedding chapel, etc.), not just the town or city. Explain why you chose that particular location.

*Did you have a wedding planner (a professional, or a friend or relative that helped out)?

*How formal or informal was the wedding?

*Who married you? Was it your family priest, pastor, or rabbi? A justice of the peace? Captain of the ship? ;-)

*When you obtained your marriage license, what were the qualifications (if you remember)? For instance, did you have to take a blood test or get your parents' permission (if underage)? Do you remember what the fee was?

*If there was a wedding rehearsal, where and when did it take place? Was there a rehearsal dinner? Who attended or who was unable to attend? Were there gifts exchanged then?

*Who were the members of the wedding party, and how were they related or connected to you? Who was the maid/matron of honor and the best man?

*Describe the bride's dress. Was it a family heirloom, purchased or made for this wedding, rented or borrowed? Did she/you wear "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue"? What were they?

*Describe the bride's bouquet.

*Describe the bridesmaids' outfits. Was there a color theme?

*Describe the groom and the groomsmen's outfits.

*Was the building decorated? If so, how?

*Where did the parties prepare and dress for the wedding? Who helped with the dressing, hair and makeup, if applicable?

*Were there ushers who weren't part of the regular wedding party? Who were they, and how were they related or connected?

*Was someone in charge of a guestbook and/or receiving gifts? Who were some of the special guests that attended? Who traveled the furthest to attend?

*What music was played and/or sung, and by whom? Why these music choices?

*Was the bride walked down the aisle, and if so, by whom? If not the father of the bride, then whom and why?

*Did you use traditional vows, write your own, or "borrow" some you liked?

*Describe the ceremony: the sequence of events, the prayers, music, exchanging of rings, lighting of candles, communion or drinking of wine, stepping on wine glass, etc.

*Describe the wedding rings: were they family heirlooms, or purchased? Where were they purchased? Were they a matching set?

*Did anything interesting, tragic or funny happen during the ceremony (i.e., at my cousin's wedding, the flowers on the candelabra caught on fire during the prayer!)?

*Who was/were the photographer(s)? Were the photos taken before or after the ceremony? Why?

*Describe the reception: the receiving line, the cake and champagne, toasts, dancing, etc. Where did it take place? Was it directly after the wedding, or at another time and location altogether? Why?

*Did you open the gifts at the reception, or later? Did someone open them and record them for you?

*Describe the bride and groom's going-away clothing. What vehicle was the "getaway" car? Was it decorated traditionally (soaped-up windows, tin cans, streamers, etc.)?

*Did you go away on a honeymoon? When and where (this could probably be a whole other journal entry!)? If you did not go on a honeymoon, explain why.

*Did you enjoy your special day, or was it stressful? What would you change and why? What worked out especially well, and why?

Most brides have a bride's book or wedding book with photos, invitations, programs, engagement announcements, etc. If for some reason you don't have one, you could create your own and put in your writings, along with the photos and ephemera. It would be interesting for a man to write his perspective of his wedding (which, of course, would vary from the woman's). A divorced man may not have access to photos or ephemera from his wedding, as often it's the woman who retains the wedding book after a divorce. It could be a special gift to his children to write about his wedding for them, as sometimes it is not a topic that's brought up with the father by the children.

Some people have been married more than once. Although it would take time, it would be interesting for your descendants to have journal entries about more than one wedding, not just the marriage that produced children. You could compare and contrast the weddings, too; especially the details of each that worked best for you.

Part three on this particular topic (marriage) will be "Your Anniversaries," coming next week.

Week Eleven: Your Father's Life

Last week's prompt was to write all about your mother. This week you'll be writing about your father's life.

Besides the basic details of his life (birth, marriage(s), death (if deceased), parents, siblings, etc.) write about the things that no future genealogist will probably be able to discover: his personality, his traits, strengths, weaknesses. What were his aspirations? Was he happy and fulfilled in his occupation? What was your relationship with him like? Was he cold and aloof, warm and affectionate, or somewhere in between? What sorts of things did you do together? What was his relationship with your mother like? Again, you may be one of the few people on this earth that know/knew your father well, and you have the ability to share this information with future generations!

Include photos of different stages of your father's life, especially those of the two of you together.

Next week's prompt will be "Your Daily Life."

Week Nine: Letters to Your Siblings' Descendants

The prompt for Week Nine is an expansion of some of the prompts from Week Three: Your Immediate Family. Week Nine focuses on your siblings, but we're going to take a slightly different approach from the question-and-answer format. For each of your siblings, write a letter to their future descendants of 50 years from now. Imagine that you are the only one left to describe the lives of your siblings to their descendants (and for some of you, this may be so). Incorporate the important events, locations, and people of your siblings' lives, but most importantly, describe the things that make them "real," which are difficult for the family historian to discover: their personalities, their flaws and strengths, their passions and dislikes, their relationship with you.

Obviously, if you have many siblings, this assignment will take a while. You may choose to write one letter a day, or to write one now and each of the others around the time of your siblings' birthdays, as a way to honor them. Don't forget half- and step-siblings.

If you are an only child, you can adapt this for favorite cousins or even close friends.

You can include photos of your siblings at different ages of their lives, and photos that include both of you. Make copies of these letters and share them with your siblings (cousins, friends) and/or their descendants. They would make nice gifts at birthdays, anniversaries, or reunions.

Week Ten will focus on your mother and her life.

Week Eight: Your Oldest Living Ancestor

Who was your oldest living ancestor (grandparent, great-grandparent, even possibly a great-great-grandparent!) at the time you were born? Perhaps you didn't have a direct ancestor living, but a collateral one, i.e. a sibling or cousin of a grandparent or great-grandparent. You can choose to write about this person instead, especially if your grandparents weren't living when you were born or didn't live nearby while you were growing up. Just to make it a bit easier for me, I'm going to refer to this person in my prompts as "she."

*What was the relationship (grandparent, great-aunt, etc.) of the oldest living ancestor you had at the time of your birth?

*What was her full maiden name? What was/were her married name(s)?

*When and where was she born? Who was president when she was born? Go here to find out.

*How old was she when you were born?

*Did you get to know this ancestor/relative personally? What was your relationship like? Were they a favorite, or were you neutral towards this person? Perhaps the relationship was even strained. How did that affect you?

*Describe this ancestor's personality, likes/dislikes, strengths/weaknesses. How are you similar to this ancestor? How are you different?

*Describe this ancestor's physical features, including complexion, hair and eye color, build, height, and any possible disabilities that she had. How are you alike or different from her in your appearance?

*Did you inherit anything of sentimental value from this ancestor? Describe the item(s) and include a photograph in your blog or journal.

*Did this person ever talk about her ancestors? Tell about the oldest ancestor she may have mentioned, following the same prompts that this blog has.

*Write a short biography of her life from birth to death. Include her parents' and siblings' names, her spouse(s) and child(ren), the places she lived, her occupation(s), military service, etc. Make sure to include full dates and locations of major life events. Also include photographs, especially any that has the both of you in them.

Next week, we'll return closer to home and go in-depth about your siblings. Are you an only child? We can journal about that, too!

Week Three: Your Immediate Family

This week's topic is the structure of the immediate family you were raised in. Later prompts will ask for more details on certain members of this family; this one is simply a general overview. Remember to respect the privacy of living people by editing any personal information that you place online.

*Who were the adults that lived in your household growing up? Were they your parents, step-parents, uncles and/or aunts, grandparents, or friends/significant others of your parents?

*Who were the children that lived in your household growing up? Were they your siblings, half- or step-siblings, cousins, or others?

*If you were a child of divorced or separated parents, how did you share your time between the two households?

*Are you an adopted child (either adopted by a couple or by a step-parent)? What are your thoughts and feelings about your adoption? What are your thoughts and feelings about your birth parent(s)? How did your adoption impact you? If you have siblings (biological or adoptive), how did your adoption impact your relationship with them? (This set of questions could be a separate blog.)

*Were you an only child? If so, do you prefer your only child status, or do you wish you had siblings? Why or why not? If you have siblings, where were you in the birth order? After reading this, do you feel like you are a typical person for your birth order? (A fun survey to take is the Birth Order Predictor...does it fit you?)

*Did you have to share a bedroom? How did that work out?

*Which adult did you feel closest to, and why? Did this relationship change as you became an adult?

*Which sibling/other child did you feel closest to, and why? Did this relationship change as you became an adult?

Find a group shot or two of your family and add them to your journal. Don't forget to label it!

Next week's prompt topics will be about your elementary school life. Happy Journaling!